Strange Things From Beyond
by Minerakf
Summary: When a magical portal that spits out strange objects appears in Rivendell, Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn are summoned by Elrond to investigate. How will the middle-earthians react when they discover firearms, technology, and...bubble wrap?
1. Never Give a Dwarf Bubble Wrap

Okay guys, this is just meant to be a silly series of short stories, all connected, one chapter about each object or set of objects the portal spits out. They are going to be short, but amusing. I will try my best to do suggestions. My only request: save the more complicated stuff for later. Start out with suggestions like..ice cubes and pencils! Enjoy this first chapter on... you guessed it...bubblewrap!

 **Legolas:**

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli stared at the thin piece of material that Elrond was waving in their face. It was extremely thin, with small, round protrusions, and it was almost transparent. The little bumps made it look warped, and shiny.

"Have you ever seen anything like this before?" Elrond urged them.

"Not at all..." murmured Legolas. "May I hold it?"

Elrond nodded slightly, and handed the elf the strange material. It was astonishingly light, and strange to the touch. Legolas turned it around, and it made the strangest sound, like paper crinkling, or leaves crunching. Yet it was extremely flexible, and he was able to bend it in half. Legolas looked closer at the little bumps, and realized they were hollow. He squeezed one in between his slender fingers, and suddenly, a loud _Pop!_ resounded through the courtyard. Everyone jumped up in alarm, Aragorn even drawing his sword.

"What in Durin's name was THAT?!" bellowed Gimli.

Legolas frowned, and squeezed another of the bumps. Again, a loud _Pop!_ filled the air, and the hollow space collapsed. Gimli and Aragorn watched as he squished three more. _Pop! Pop! Pop!_

"Interesting..." mused Elrond, a faint smile dancing across his lips every time Gimli jumped a little.

"Let me give this strange instrument a go!" grumbled Gimli, snatching it from Legolas. He tentavely squeezed one of the hollow bumps, and, as everyone had expected, another _Pop!_ was emitted.

"What if one was to pop many at once?" mused Aragorn.

Gimli shrugged, and did just that. A rapid series of pops were emitted. Gimli did it again, and then again. A grin slowly spread over his face.

"This is surprisingly amusing," he chuckled.

Fifteen minutes later, Gimli had demolished all the bumps in three of the sheets of odd material, and had also managed to annoy every elf within earshot.

"Finally, there's no more of it!" sighed Legolas. He didn't think he could stand to hear one more _Pop!._

Then, from behind him heard Gimli yell, "Oi, here's another batch!", and then _Pop! Pop! Pop!._


	2. In Which a Cuckoo Clock is Destroyed

Thank you for following and favoriting, Neril, Dark Windsong, and Aria Breur! Thanks for following Alku04, and ZevesdroX! Lastly, thanks for so many reviews! WOW! I never expected this many so quickly! I live on reviews! You guys have made me positively glow with joy! I am smiling so big right now lol! Thanks for the suggestion, Sunbeam. Your wish is granted! A cuckoo clock it is!

 **Legolas:**

Legolas only got a short rest from annoying noises. Only a little while after Gimli had smashed all of the exploding bumps on the sheets of what the dwarf had deemed "bubble glass". The irritated elf didn't really care what Gimli called it, he just was glad he could have some peace and quiet now it was gone.

Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn were sitting on the grassy hillside overlooking the courtyard where the strange black hole had appeared. The black void was about the size of a large hobbit, but nobody could get close to it, because repelled anything that came near to it. Legolas had tried to fight the intense pressure, but it was like trying to wall into a stone wall.

Then the bubble glass had come flying out of it, straight into Elrond's face. Legolas would have paid to see that. Aragorn had told him that the elf had fallen over, trying to peel the material off, because it was starting to suffocate him. Legolas knew it was wrong of him, but he thought that would have been very amusing to witness.

Several more sheets of the material had flown out in quick repetition. Luckily, the hole only threw out a few sheets, or everyone would have had to listen to Gimli popping the bumps of the bubble glass by sitting on them for even longer. Legolas had to admit, seeing the dwarf plopping himself down repeated with explosions of _Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_ _Pop! Pop!_ was very amusing to watch.

But Legolas tried not to complain when a loud _CRASH!_ interrupted his peace, and resounded across the courtyard. The three sat up, alert, and saw the cause of the loud noise. A strange, and very colorful object had been shot out the void like an arrow from a bow. They picked themselves up, and he wondered what it could possibly be.

 **Aragorn:**

Aragorn peered down at the strange object. It was carved out of wood. It came to his knees, and it was shaped like a triangle resting on top of a square. It was about the width of his hand.

The bottom section of the object had been carved out, and, there was a hanging oval that was swinging back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It was very mesmerizing. He wondered who could have enchanted it.

"What sort of elf would enchant a wood chip to swing endlessly?" muttered Gimli, glaring at the strange object. On the smooth face of it, it also had numbers in a circle, and two arrows with different lengths extending from the center of the circle. The number on the very top of the circle was 12. The next number was 1. The numbers went to 11, which was right in front of the 12, finishing the circle.

Legolas was feeling the arrows. Aragorn could tell were made entirely of metal, and oddly, were flat.

"They are blunt," Legolas commented, pulling his hand away.

"Anything else?" Aragorn pushed him, trying to find some explanation of what this object was.

"Yes... Something that disturbs me greatly..."

"What is it?"

"It... well...at least, I cannot sense any magic in it at all!" cried Legolas, rubbing his temples in distress.

Aragorn looked at his elf friend in shock. How could this be?! No magic?!

"How could it possibly move itself?!" cried Aragorn.

"Perhaps, some sort of...mechanism...hidden inside?" Legolas said, but Aragorn could tell his friend was just as clueless as he.

"Well, no matter how it works, what is it supposed to do?" Aragorn said, furrowing his brown in frustration.

Then Gimli, who had walked all around the object, searching for compartments, and mechanisms, cried, "The long arrow has moved!"

Legolas and Aragorn looked at the long arrow, and indeed, it had shifted. Quite a bit, in fact. Aragorn clearly remembered it being aimed at the number 6, and now it was aimed between the numbers 7 and 8.

Legolas looked closely at it, and then at the short arrow as well.

"It is hardly perceptible, but the short arrow has shifted the smallest amount to the right," announced Legolas, bewilderment written clearly on his fair face.

They sat their staring at the object, watching the long arrow move extremely slowly, slower than a snail slides, till it was aimed between the 10 and the 11. Now it was very clear that the short arrow had indeed moved, albeit, not very much at all. Instead of being pointed exactly in the middle of the 3 and the 4, it was pointed almost straight at the 4.

Suddenly, the moment the smaller arrow was pointed at the 4, and the larger arrow pointed at the 12, two seams in the wood popped open, like little door, and a little wooden bird, painted a very bright yellow, was thrust out on a branch. It made an imitation of a bird tweeting. _COO-COO! COO-COO!_ A bell chimed behind the tweets, and then the branch and the bird retreated, and the little doors shut.

They watched the large arrow until it was aimed at the painted 1. It seemed like this was all that was going to happen. Aragorn was getting extremely bored of watching it. He shifted a little, bumping Legolas with his elbow. Legolas didn't even notice, his gaze fixed on the object, and his eyes almost glazed over from boredom. Aragorn was almost to that point, and Gimli had already laid back and shut his eyes, completely giving up on the endeavor. Aragorn sighed, and resigned himself to watching the arrow very, very slowly go in a circle.

Legolas, being an elf, was known for patience, so Aragorn never expected what happened next.

"Enough!" he cried loudly. "This is a waste of time!"

And with that, the elf stood up and walked twenty paces away, and shot an arrow. Legolas' bow sang, and the arrow whistled through the air, almost too fast to perceive. With a loud _Thwack!_ the arrow landed precisely in the middle of the swinging oval. Not that Aragorn would ever think Legolas would miss. Everyone who had ever met the elf, knew that he was the master of all archers. Not one soul in middle earth had more speed and accuracy than the Prince of Mirkwood, and they were envious of it. Aragorn was just content to be his friend. He definitely wanted Legolas on his side in a fight.

Gimli whooped, and clapped loudly. Aragorn allowed a grin, and nodded respectfully. Gimli's loud cry drew Elrond, and he looked at the strange object, and noted the arrow quivering slightly in the swinging oval.

The three explained everything to Elrond. He frowned, and glared pointedly at Legolas, "You were unhappy that the arrows were moving slowly, so you shot it? Is that any way an elf should behave? Elves do not destroy because they are merely unhappy,"

Legolas bowed his head, and muttered an apology. Elrond was about to take the object with him, when Gimli piped up. "Ay, elves aren't destructive for no reason. Neither are dwarves...unless they have deemed a creation useless... Then... they are very destructive,"

Then, with that, Gimli, brought his heavy axe down on it, and wood splinters flew everywhere. Luckily, nobody was hit with the flying shards of wood. Aragorn chuckled merrily, shaking his head at the dwarf's antics, and Legolas threw back his head and gave a loud hoot of laughter. Gimli grinned evilly at Elrond, and the wise elf glared at the dwarf like he was a naughty child, picked up the mostly destroyed object, and stalked out.

The moment he left the room, Legolas and Gimli were on the floor, shaking with laughter. Aragorn couldn't help but join in, and if anyone had been there, they would have witnessed the mighty king of Gondor, laughing like he was but a young child again. Which would have truly been a sight to see!


	3. Pippin and the Unidentified Liquid

But Merry and Pippin were not supposed to find out about the portal. So, naturally, they find out. And even more chaos ensues. Thanks for reviewing, so many people! Wow! And so fast too! You guys really like this don't you! You made me crack up xSiriuslyPadfoot: "Elrond's derp moment with the sheet of 'bubble glass' flying into his face" LOL. Wow, you guys are so nice!: "Oh my word, this is absolutely gold", "XDXDXD, this is awesome", "And this is a favorite"? I am so flattered! Thank you for following xSiriuslyPadfoot, CrazyAwesomeZebra, and AsgardianGrizzly. Thanks for favoriting, ZevesdroX, lilly jane, Evania Awristeta, and AsagardianGrizzly! Leave a review, it means alot! Also, check out my new story: _Sapphire's Strange Friends_. Here's the description:

 **What would happen if, out of nowhere, a group of four (not cussing) teenagers randomly appeared in Middle Earth? Sounds like a pretty commonly used topic right? Well, not this time! Because only one of them is herself when she gets to the other world. The other three...Well...You can only imagine what happens when your boyfriend suddenly turns into an Orc, and your younger brother is now a Warg.**

Also, if you have ever played Skylanders, check out _New Lands for Skylanders_ :

 **When crazy creatures come from another world, and a green warrior elf appears in Middle Earth, how will the stunned Middle-Earthians react? Will they attack these newcomers, or will they ask for their help in defeating Sauron? Or will Stealth Elf murder everyone?**

Enjoy! No seriously, really, actually Enjoy!

 **Merry:**

"Come on Merry!" Pippin urged again, finally managed to tug him out of bed. Merry sighed, and got dressed slowly, Pippin practically bouncing out of his skin outside his room.

"Are you ready yet?!" cried his impatient friend, pounding on the door.

"I am now, Pip," Merry replied, adding a groan for effect. He needed to make Pippin understand that NORMAL hobbits do not wake up at five o'clock in the morning to spy on people. Although, it was very funny to see Gimli destroy that clock. Merry giggled at the thought of it. He couldn't believe they didn't know what a clock was! Numskulls!

"Let's go Merry, the magical portal has given them something small and pink!" cried Pippin, tugging his friend down the hallways by one finger.

"Ow! Stop it! You're going to pull it off!" Merry complained, pulling his finger from Pippin's grasp.

"Just come on, before we miss something!"

Finally, they got there, and the two spying hobbits peeked out from behind the column.

Suddenly, Aragorn had them by their ears, and triumphantly cried, "Aha! Now I've caught you, you little spying rascals!"

 **Aragorn:**

He knew someone had been spying on them. He wasn't very surprised when two curly-haired heads popped out from behind a column, peering intently at them.

He snuck up on them from their blind side, and grabbed them by their ears, crying out, "Aha! Now I've caught you, you little spying rascals!"

The startled hobbits sheepishly grinned at him, and he released them. As they rubbed their ears, he just shook his head, chuckling. There was no hope for the two of them. The ridiculous pair would never learn to stay out of other people's business.

"Well, since your here, you can help us figure out what this is?" he said, holding up one of the colored things that had some sort of liquid inside of it. The top of it had flipped open when they had pulled on it, and inside was a little stick with a loop on the end of it, partially submersed in a clear, sticky liquid.

"Have you ever seen one of these before?" he asked the pair. They shook their heads, shrugging, and then Pippin chimed, "But we had seen yesterday afternoon's find! That was just a clock!"

Both hobbit burst into fits of giggling, and when Aragorn asked them what a clock was, he knew instantly, that to them, he sounded very foolish indeed.

"A clock..." Pippin sputtered.

"Tells you the time!" Merry finished, and they both started giggling and snorting maniacally again.

Aragorn realized that the little arrow had been telling the hours, and the larger hand, the minutes. He guessed that the number 6 represented half an hour. Each number represented five minutes then...

To make himself sound less foolish, he tried to act nonchalant, and simply say, "I need no clock to measure the time, the sun works well enough."

But the hobbits saw right through him, and it caused them to laugh even harder.

"Alright, enough already!" cried Gimli, now realizing how ridiculous he had acted the day before, destroying a perfectly good 'clock'

"Can I see that?" asked Pippin, gesturing to the bottle of unidentified liquid. Aragorn handed it to him, and he first peered at it, then sniffed it, then downed it whole.

"Hmm...Tastes like soap to me!" he said, burping up bubbles. Strangely enough, these bubbles did not pop, but floated off into the sky until they could no longer be seen.

"You just drank a bottle of soap?" cried Merry, staring at his friend in disgust.

Aragorn laughed heartily, when Pippin just gave Merry an odd look, and said, "Yes, that's wot I said isn't it?"


	4. And What of Sauron's Mother in Law?

Thanks for the review xSiriuslyPadfoot. Also, btw, clever name you have there! :D I, for one, get it. Padfoot was Sirius Black's nickname when he was in Hogwarts. HeeHee. Such a book worm I am... Enjoy!

 **Legolas:**

Almost as soon as Pippin finished spewing out bubbles, there was a _thump_ from the portal. Sitting on the ground was a small, oval shaped container, with a incredibly realistic drawing on the front of a white sphere sitting in the center of a blue bowl made from a material unknown to the elf.

Legolas strolled over to the container and picked it up, almost immediately dropping it again in surprise. It was ice cold to the touch!

"What is wrong Legolas?" Aragorn asked, frowning slightly as he bent over to touch it.

"It is very cold, that is all," said Legolas, and Aragorn nodded, "Indeed it is."

The man lifted it, and gave it a shake.

"It seems to be solid. It is not empty, for it is very heavy, but whatever it contains inside of it does not shift about," he noted.

"Indeed. It has writing with the drawing on the side," he told Aragorn.

Aragorn turned it, and read the writing that was printed in large but very fancy script.

"It reads, 'Vanilla Ice Cream'" Aragorn slowly said.

"Well, we know what all those words mean, right?" said Pippin, eager to solve this new puzzle.

"Yes, Vanilla is a flavoring we use for our pastries! Very tasty too!" said Merry, "And cream is what we put in our pastries too!"

"It must be vanilla filling for pies! I'll take that!" Pippin said, snatching it from Aragorn's hands.

The container was dropped yet again, with a cry of, "It's cold!"

Merry sighed, "Were you even listening Pip?"

"Well, it does read: Vanilla ICE cream," Aragorn said.

"How can there be ice in pie filling?" asked Pippin stupidly.

"What I think Strider is trying to say, is that it's NOT pie filling," Merry explained.

At this, Pippin groaned. Gimli sighed, "And here I was, thinking I was going to be getting a nice pie."

Legolas laughed, patted the dwarf's shoulder, and said, "I'm sure they'll make you a pie someday."

Pippin blanched, and sputtered, "I don't know how to make pies! You'd have to ask Sam if he'll make you a pie. I'm not making you a pie!"

"What he said!" Merry added as soon as Pippin finished speaking.

"Can we return to the 'Vanilla Ice Cream'?" Legolas asked, sighing heavily.

"Yes. Why don't we just open the blasted thing instead of just speculating about it?" Gimli grunted.

"Good idea!" cried Pippin, and with that, he pulled on the lid to it.

Immediately, the smell of fresh Vanilla filled their noses.

Pippin touched the white substance inside of the container.

"It's hard, and ice cold, but it rubs off on my finger!" said Pippin delightedly.

Pippin poked it, and his stubby finger sunk into the white substance.

"I wonder if it tastes as good as it smells?" Merry questioned.

"Well, there's only one way to find out!" Pippin cried, scooping out a large chunk with his fingers and stuffing it in his mouth.

"FRODO'S GREAT GRANDFATHER! THIS IS COLD! AND DELICIOUS!" cried Pippin.

"Frodo' s great grandfather?" said Merry, raising his eyebrows at Pippin's choice of words.

"Well, just try it yourself!" said Pippin.

Merry stuck his hand in the Vanilla Ice Cream, and scooped a even larger chunk than Pippin had.

He stuck it in his mouth, and the effect was instantaneous.

"SAURON'S MOTHER IN LAW! THIS IS GOOD!" cried Merry.

Now it was Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn and Pippin who raised their eyebrows.

"Sauron's...Mother in law?" asked Gimli, and that was all it took.

Everyone burst into uncontrollable laughter, even Legolas was laughing ridiculously.

"SAURON'S... Mother in law! Merry, you are one messed up hobbit!" cried Pippin, and Merry replied cheerily, "Thanks, you make a lovely friend too!"


End file.
